Fracture UR brain
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on!!!
Friday, July 12, 2013
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Freaky Mind
Boredom crossed its heights;
I always wished to take a Leh flight.
The Ganges seems so far;
What stops me to accelerate my car?
Y can’t I go and take a world round;
Y don’t I have enough pound.
Y do I always need to think of culture;
Tell me Y can’t I be free, like a vulture?
There are things to do before I die;
Please ask sunset to stop telling lie.
Almost lost one third of living;
When will I stop this day-night cribbing?
I always think to be self-daring;
To undo my surcharged thinking!!
It’s so simple, yet so hard!!!
Y can’t I be a hippie at heart?????
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Simply Ritzzzzzzz!!
Note:- The poem is dedicated to my dearest friend "RITURAJ"
My proud mule carves his way,
The success stands and makes him sway,
He is one of the fearless dudes,
Though at times he seems to be a bit rude!
He says he is a mumma’s boy,
Now and then surrounded by her coy,
He is there to help even a moron,
The bestest thing you can count him on.
Born intelligent and classy,
Just the glimpse of his twinkles makes you feel starry,
The honesty, the giggling he possess,
You cannot witness it in a careless.
The wonder guy is ready, to get set go,
He is a new kid in the Lawyer’s row.
He is here to make it big,
Mind it! You can’t measure it with a twig.
The guy describes himself a strong,
And always portrays doing a ding-dong,
But side by side his emotional show is always on!
He is the one, he is the light,
Who is always ready to indulge in a fight!
He is Newton, he is Graham Bell,
His theories and philosophies are out of your stretch.
I have nothing more to say to you,
He is the one and only one our “RITU”
letter to my BEE!!
The dream carried; is on hire
The wake up cloud; is on fire
The only Loss; is not for you
There are more worthies; whom you have to woo
The walk is on the pathless path,
The anxiety is for a meaningful time-pass
The glimpses are of your guilty pleasure,
There is more insanity inside your feather.
The art to capture, the thoughtless thought,
The dazzling assurances in your plot,
The talent to wow the crowd,
My Love! Still you have to battle me out!
The lost identity of our love,
The misinterpreted taste of your touch,
The loyalties of the awaited crush,
You need to do more to make me yours as such!!!!!
The wake up cloud; is on fire
The only Loss; is not for you
There are more worthies; whom you have to woo
The walk is on the pathless path,
The anxiety is for a meaningful time-pass
The glimpses are of your guilty pleasure,
There is more insanity inside your feather.
The art to capture, the thoughtless thought,
The dazzling assurances in your plot,
The talent to wow the crowd,
My Love! Still you have to battle me out!
The lost identity of our love,
The misinterpreted taste of your touch,
The loyalties of the awaited crush,
You need to do more to make me yours as such!!!!!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Angrily Happy
Is there anyone among us who does not wish to be happy? That’s unlikely.
Yeah! Unexceptionally, we all wish to lead our life with an elevated spirit. It won’t be a waste to mention if few of us also desire to estimate our core, more valuable than just to be an earning machine! We aspire for the Bliss! That can be another criterion that we might follow different ways to nurture our senses for the eternal soulfulness. Few see the materialistic gain as source of happiness whereas some of the weeping philosophers see imperishable Atman as the ultimate route to Supreme Bliss.
Well, the power of leaving you in a fostered milieu does not lie in big things only but even simple stuff holds that grace to capture your moment in its truest virtue. You can easily notice that the taste of a nutty chocolate, glimpse of the current crush, payment of salary cheque, whistling your favorite song, flipping through an old album, cracking a joke on false pity situation of a friend, peacock dancing in the rain certainly sets the mood.
Though these nifty brainless activities give you momentary cheerfulness but undoubtedly they act as a watch-guard in pumping up the current and substance in your life.
By now we all have witnessed that Life is a sexy bitch so why to miss the pleasures gained from these saucy sachets for bigger happy moments. Doesn’t it sound like a foolish act!
To add, the wisdom of being happy does not lie only in the fact of enjoying these cheesy captivating flashes but also in converting the unconstructive, pessimistic, depressing, and downbeat blazes into positive shades.
We all, can very well prepare ourselves mentally to withstand the uninformed, unfortunate major incidents and can try our best to overcome the negativities but the irony is we tend to forget to act cheekily at small shortcomings. It will be funny to know that we pressurize our body to secrete negative hormones for diminutive things…..…things like getting a pimple, unmanageable office work, traffic jam, tasteless breakfast, power cut at night, getting the ticket of first row for a movie, not getting the parking space, jammed flush of washroom ….and the list goes on. I perfectly believe, after reading it, you can easily reconnect with the last teeny weeny inadequacy whose irritation made you changed your inner environment by altering your hormonal secretion.
This is also another fact that the above mentioned loopholes causes irritation and not the anger but to realize deeply both are the forms of negative emotions only….so why to bother if it is anger or just a mere irritation…..why not to simply think of controlling these negative emotional crackers from burning.
I know! I know! It’s very easy to sayJ than to perform. Huh!! Let me confess that even I do not completely follow the above suggestions but please appreciate me for my efforts to trail down the said track.
On a serious note, at this stage of my life, I am more concerned about changing my negative emotional reactions into positive ones, than the facts -- fair or unfair -- that I encounter in my life.
For controlling the emotional rage you can go through “n” number of websites or books. In fact you must be aware of some of the famous tips like deep breathing, drinking water, talking to a friend, acting cool etc etc…
But for me, I usually keep my faith in self-designed philosophies than the readymade ones. In my view, every individual is different, his circumstance, emotional level, analysis through experience, situation handling ability, habits, beliefs, comfort zone, ideas, philosophy…everything is different……he knows his world and its tactics in the best way……..so, as per me, it would be good to go for suggestions and speeches that might help/suits your kind of personality. Therefore, I follow the theory, designed by keeping in mind “my personality type”.
For me giving respect to every person’s thought and individuality keeps me away from hating that person. Giggling at silly things, making fun of critical circumstances at office and reminding of the phrase “getting irritated at small things is a fool’s job” many a times helps me in regulating the release of negative hormones in my veins.
Moreover, it is said that “Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad” but trust me laughter is an instant vacation, if done without loosing the senses. Take time every day to do something ridiculous. It will engage you in doing waste which can be counted far better than cribbing at silly stuff.
Also, try not to confuse any short term pleasures from external sources with happiness. True and lasting happiness always comes from within. External pleasures never last. Train your tape (memory) as per your personality type. The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
Remember the say “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”
So, why not to try to be "Angrily Happy" by converting your short-lived anger into partial/full happiness!!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Boarding School
Note: - The mentioned incidents are of my friend and colleague Santanu. Also, special thanks to Kalpana for her creative drawings.
“Hit….hit…hit it man”…..”O Crap! ………What Hanu….you again did a foul…we are loosing guy…… you know it right!!!”
“Ouu… The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break Gudla”….huh!! (The sound was quite sharp in a very well framed Hinglish Ishytle)”
“Aaaha!!........now that’s my boy……I can proudly say he carries my genes safely and nicely”…….the words simply got discharged from my 40 years old cracked epiglottis after watching the football match of kids, playing in the water crammed field……..well the very innovative game is called as “Water Fussball”
Yah…yaaah….. It’s my cute and lovely kid Hanu. Hanu, who got his name as a derivative of my break-up name “Santanu = Sant + Hanu”, where Hanu means monkey in Bengali. His name was kept when his father himself was a kid…….hmm!!...not to be surprised …it happens only in India.
Well….don’t know exactly when this “Water Fussball” match made me slipped on the floors of the cubicle of my memory track and I finally started turning the pages of my childhood recollection album……….and heard the tickled voice…………………
“Hit….hit…hit it man”…..”O Crap! ………What Hanu….you again did a foul…we are loosing guy…… you know it right!!!”
“Ouu… The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break Gudla”….huh!! (The sound was quite sharp in a very well framed Hinglish Ishytle)”
“Aaaha!!........now that’s my boy……I can proudly say he carries my genes safely and nicely”…….the words simply got discharged from my 40 years old cracked epiglottis after watching the football match of kids, playing in the water crammed field……..well the very innovative game is called as “Water Fussball”
Yah…yaaah….. It’s my cute and lovely kid Hanu. Hanu, who got his name as a derivative of my break-up name “Santanu = Sant + Hanu”, where Hanu means monkey in Bengali. His name was kept when his father himself was a kid…….hmm!!...not to be surprised …it happens only in India.
Well….don’t know exactly when this “Water Fussball” match made me slipped on the floors of the cubicle of my memory track and I finally started turning the pages of my childhood recollection album……….and heard the tickled voice…………………
“Santanu………chup koro…..chup, darao…..nahole chap-e pore jabe…. bipode fele debo ami” …….and I almost doubled my horse power to escape from my Head master after learning his verrrrrrrrrry sweeeeet intention.
Can’t help it man… It was poor me only, who got caught red-handed while throwing the tea at the poster of Maa durga, prepared by the gurukul’s student, for the durga-pooja ceremony. Actually, I was passing by the art room, carrying glasses of tea to my room. I then unthoughtfully stopped, to check out the paintings………but tell me how can I help myself if I too wish to add my own views to the painting? So, without resisting the thought, I simply drew her moustaches and gave shades to her body with the tea.....
My house warden, having seen this, ran after me like a mad dog, he very quickly picked up the broom and started opening it’s nut-bolts to loosen the attached pipe and……..and my dear friend rest was the story………….the story of his instant invention of a music piece, by considering me as a drum and the broom’s pipe as a drum stick.
Aaaah! He was not that bad also, he then later visited my room with some candies to show his expression of concern…the very same candies which he gives after every beat…but this time, since I got the cruel thrash, so I prepared myself to not to get convinced over such a small treat and therefore, I demanded him an Ice-cream!!
I suppose that this was the first case of violence which I scripted down in my diary. Yes! The diary writing was the part of course-curriculum of our prestigious Rama Krishna Mission Hostel (Hotel) - Ashram. The activity was introduced to cultivate good habits in the students.
So, this time I had something new to letter down in my diary apart from my usual complaints… ….complaints like……my room-mate didn’t share the biscuit with me, Soumya helped me in cheating in class-test and how I took revenge from Soumesh by making him eat his favourite hajmola goli, by first keeping it down on bathroom’s floor for a while and then handing it to him with a notorious thought of making him eat the highly toxic goli………..
Well, apart from diary writing, my school has enforced several other activities to grow children into a perfect human being. Activities like doing at least one act of random kindness in a day (Good turn knot in Boys Scout) like teaching the villagers, writing exam paper for blind students, clean surroundings or plant a tree.
Sighhhh!!!!Definitely, my Gurukal was way different from other boarding schools.
Our day always started at 5am when, the poor, small, lazy kid’s of 5th standard were asked to wake up and perform PT under the rising sun. After horrible exercise, we were told to join in the prayer hall in dhoti-kurta which was then followed by a meditation (Extra sleeping hours) for 15mins.
By checking out such a tight and strict schedule, you can easily estimate the amount of love that our parents had for us and their great will of making us a perfect human.
The decision to send me to a boarding school, at the age of 9, was not a random take but it was me only who broke down all the records of their patience level. Let me share with you people the incident that nailed the final decision of my parents of sending me to a boarding school.
It was the month of July, the rainy season has just got started. Those days, I developed an unsaid relationship with the creatures. The bond was developed when I used to row my paper boat in a water lodged area. Now, the earthworm, toads and flies had become my best friends. The nature attracted me so much that I decided to make these creatures part and parcel of my house. So, with this intention, I caught few fishes and crabs from the nearby pond and decanted them into the well, the traditional well of our family at the backyard of my house. On regular basis, I used to see my fishes swim. My newly built well aquarium made me happy all the time. But the feeling did not continue for longer period as after few days, I could not find my fishes swimming at the surface of the water. Hence, I decided to go inside the well to check them out. The only thought which made me think twice of the adventure was to check if my parents are away. But time! you have good time and also you have bad time…………. and certainly it was my bad time when my father caught me doing the stunt. Alas! It was not me only who got the thrash but to my friend also, who was helping me. The end of the rope was tied to my waist so as to help me climb down the walls of the well whereas the other end was held by him.
Sighhhh!!!!Definitely, my Gurukal was way different from other boarding schools.
Our day always started at 5am when, the poor, small, lazy kid’s of 5th standard were asked to wake up and perform PT under the rising sun. After horrible exercise, we were told to join in the prayer hall in dhoti-kurta which was then followed by a meditation (Extra sleeping hours) for 15mins.
By checking out such a tight and strict schedule, you can easily estimate the amount of love that our parents had for us and their great will of making us a perfect human.
The decision to send me to a boarding school, at the age of 9, was not a random take but it was me only who broke down all the records of their patience level. Let me share with you people the incident that nailed the final decision of my parents of sending me to a boarding school.
It was the month of July, the rainy season has just got started. Those days, I developed an unsaid relationship with the creatures. The bond was developed when I used to row my paper boat in a water lodged area. Now, the earthworm, toads and flies had become my best friends. The nature attracted me so much that I decided to make these creatures part and parcel of my house. So, with this intention, I caught few fishes and crabs from the nearby pond and decanted them into the well, the traditional well of our family at the backyard of my house. On regular basis, I used to see my fishes swim. My newly built well aquarium made me happy all the time. But the feeling did not continue for longer period as after few days, I could not find my fishes swimming at the surface of the water. Hence, I decided to go inside the well to check them out. The only thought which made me think twice of the adventure was to check if my parents are away. But time! you have good time and also you have bad time…………. and certainly it was my bad time when my father caught me doing the stunt. Alas! It was not me only who got the thrash but to my friend also, who was helping me. The end of the rope was tied to my waist so as to help me climb down the walls of the well whereas the other end was held by him.
It would be hard to believe the after-effect of our accidental-caught….the reaction of my father was so unexpected that my friend got wet control the nature’s call.
“Akkebare niche chole giye tor kaaj kormo sere ne (go into it and do all your curious works!)” my father yelled while hanging me upside down inside the well……lolz!!...but that time it was so scary that it made my vocals to repeat only one word “Bachaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooo”
Nothing new, it was almost my daily job to act naughty. My mischevious plans and wayward tricks had no end. I remember the very recipe of making a toxin for my neighbor’s dog, which I hated like anything. The recipe was prepared by mixing Colgate, oil, charcoal, fevicol, washing powder, waste food and datura. Though, it is another fact that the inventive mixture didn’t help me to encash my hatred towards him as he did not eat the offered bread (with the toxic spread over it). I suppose he sensed the underlying wicked idea.:p
Well please do not conclude from this incident that I hate animals. If it would have been the case, I would have never allowed “Laila”, the dog; secretly in my room, whom I found in the pit, at the road side. I brought her home and allowed her to share my place. I always knew that my parents do not like pets. Therefore, while going to primary school, I used to drop her out in the playground and after coming back from school, I allow her the back-door entry. Since, my house was huge and enough free space was available at the backyard, so I easily managed to give Laila her dormitory, near the well under the tree shelter. She also knew the fact that I am secretly keeping her, so she never barked at night. Alas! Again, my mother one day discovered the she-dog and asked me to drop her far away from the home. With no other choice I did so. I dropped her to some unknown place and came back. But this was not the last time when I saw her. She surprised me after two months, when I saw her at my gate with 6 puppies!!!
Now, Laila and her six kids are happily living with my parents, legally inside my house, with a minor change in the situation, that now they are in and I am out of my house, in Gurukul.
I will never say that it was my parent’s fault to send me to a boarding school at such an early age but “Hero” in me was so sharp and curious that they chose “Gurukul” to develop the true “Heroic” deeds in me.
“Baba……baba…. bachao...maa marche'' Hanu’s voice jerked me from my flashback memory.
Her mother was running after him with a broom. The enquiry about his boo-boo made me to discover the level of his puckishness! He used my highly expensive, recently bought sweater from Japan, as a bed cover for the kittens, whom he found at the terrace. The very act of kindness was done with the thought that the soft kittens might need a soft blanket to keep safe their soft skin from harsh cold.
Nothing new, it was almost my daily job to act naughty. My mischevious plans and wayward tricks had no end. I remember the very recipe of making a toxin for my neighbor’s dog, which I hated like anything. The recipe was prepared by mixing Colgate, oil, charcoal, fevicol, washing powder, waste food and datura. Though, it is another fact that the inventive mixture didn’t help me to encash my hatred towards him as he did not eat the offered bread (with the toxic spread over it). I suppose he sensed the underlying wicked idea.:p
Well please do not conclude from this incident that I hate animals. If it would have been the case, I would have never allowed “Laila”, the dog; secretly in my room, whom I found in the pit, at the road side. I brought her home and allowed her to share my place. I always knew that my parents do not like pets. Therefore, while going to primary school, I used to drop her out in the playground and after coming back from school, I allow her the back-door entry. Since, my house was huge and enough free space was available at the backyard, so I easily managed to give Laila her dormitory, near the well under the tree shelter. She also knew the fact that I am secretly keeping her, so she never barked at night. Alas! Again, my mother one day discovered the she-dog and asked me to drop her far away from the home. With no other choice I did so. I dropped her to some unknown place and came back. But this was not the last time when I saw her. She surprised me after two months, when I saw her at my gate with 6 puppies!!!
Now, Laila and her six kids are happily living with my parents, legally inside my house, with a minor change in the situation, that now they are in and I am out of my house, in Gurukul.
I will never say that it was my parent’s fault to send me to a boarding school at such an early age but “Hero” in me was so sharp and curious that they chose “Gurukul” to develop the true “Heroic” deeds in me.
“Baba……baba…. bachao...maa marche'' Hanu’s voice jerked me from my flashback memory.
Her mother was running after him with a broom. The enquiry about his boo-boo made me to discover the level of his puckishness! He used my highly expensive, recently bought sweater from Japan, as a bed cover for the kittens, whom he found at the terrace. The very act of kindness was done with the thought that the soft kittens might need a soft blanket to keep safe their soft skin from harsh cold.
With the age, I am slow now but still hunt for such incidents. When I see my boy, the entire
Life flashes on, I see all the objects are floating around and I try to recollect those secretly. Sometimes, I feel I speak too much about the life but it’s hard to stop when there are so much wonders. ‘My heart feels like a balloon which is about to burst...then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it and then it flows through me like rain and I cant feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life’.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm (a deep sigh)………I am deeply thinking…in fact seriously thinking…....if I should admit Hanu to a boarding school???
Hmmmmmmmmmmm (a deep sigh)………I am deeply thinking…in fact seriously thinking…....if I should admit Hanu to a boarding school???
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Pulse of Change
Mineralized thoughts, dancing at the backyard of my cerebrum, usually drums hard to pay it heels with the rhythm of life. Most of the time, you will spot me out trying to analyze myself. I, very often, examine my skeleton, staying alive in my family’s cupboard, to learn the flavors of life. The need is to chalk out my very own trend of evolution. Huh!!….let me not sound like a complicated She-Ox, in simple, I wish to scrutinize the transformation under the two categories “Before” and “After” to finally analyze the resultant “Change” derived from the said vectors.
The abovementioned two categories are very universal, usually when, you drive back your machinery to a SISS (self improvable service station).
Well, it is said that curiosity is the mother of all the inventions. It is true then also when you are inquisitive about yourself. You do self analysis and end up knowing/ discovering a hidden attribute. With every eye the reason of conducting a self-analysis may differ, but I am pretty sure that the backbone of this exercise says “Reveal to me my own very secrets”.
I know, we all very often undertake this exercise to understand the scientology of life’s ways and the impact of the changed us on our daily routines. Therefore, I too followed the methodology to do self-analysis through knowing the change in me. After analyzing, a list was prepared of the changes that have happened to me recent past years.
Aah! Strange it was for me to discover that most of the times it is the simple things that changed my life. I, mainly, react and mind small things and easily forgive and forget big things.
So, after completing the self-analysis appraisal form, I finally reached to a conclusion that “Yes! I have changed a lot and all the changes were positive, the change was for improvement and the change was for better me”
Issshh!! I believe this was the only mistake that I made. Uff! I declared the above mentioned statement so clearly and so confidently that it gave a good faith chance to memory to challenge my say.
For challenging me, It took the said example:-
It happened few months back, when I was out in Delhi, for some regular shopping. To return back to my sister’s place (in Delhi) I started looking for a rickshaw. I tried to negotiate the fare amount with many rickshaw pullers but none was ready to compromise. But, finally I got one, who himself came and showed interest in dropping me at the price that suits me. While dropping me back home, he enquired, if I have friends who uses rickshaw very frequently. He further, offered the charges which are at our convenience level. He told me that he is in urgent need of money as his son is hospitalized, where he daily needs to pay Rs.250 and thus he needs to make sure of this minimum earnings on daily basis.
I heard his tale with full patience. I will call it as “tale” only because I did not believe him. I remember, somebody once told me to check out person’s eyes to know the “truth”. But irony is, people are getting smarter day by day…………….they can easily lie and fool you with full emotions…..so for me this option never works……..I personally believe a person, only when he proves his words and for this you need time!!....but here we lacked time.
So, thing was, I didn’t trust him. I told him “Sorry bhaiya! I cannot help you. I do not stay in Delhi and I have no friends here and moreover with money also I cannot help!”
After saying this, I left the rickshaw.
Hell! My reminiscence acts very strong when it has to blame or question me.
By looking at this incident, I wasn’t able to judge the genuineness of the rickshaw puller. If I would have been earlier Shweta I would have definitely helped him out with some money no matter if he is genuine or fake. A life would have matter more to me than a feel that I am getting fooled by someone. But you see, I am a changed Shweta!!
Problem is being emotional we always have to pay heavy price and it’s not good to keep doing so. The Wikipedia definition of “Emotional Stability” defines it as “the state of an individual that enables him or her to have appropriate feelings about common experiences and act in a rational manner”. But crisis is, we many a times, fail in maintaining the “Emotional Stability” and ignore the genuine call.
The above example was just a simple case taken to show the other side of the change. The more complex and guilt making case will come if you were solely responsible for making someone’s life heaven by showing your concern in the needed situation, but that time you didn’t pay heed and thus by default became the reason for other’s crashed life/situation.
I suppose we did not change as we grew older; we just get our trueself more diluted….we loose ourselves in this fast track…….and if I visualize the other side of the coin I see “If you don't create change, change will create you” and if a change is forcible i.e. the rude surroundings and the modern culture forced you for the change…….umm…let me call it as “Adoption of Necessary Evil” then also we are explicit to miss our true character.
The hypothesis “Adoption of Necessary Evil” is not practiced by us right from the beginning but we start cultivating it during our developmental years. We all in our lives, come across with some real good, gigantic bamboozler’s who knowingly/unknowingly participates as a foundational brick in building and confirming our emotional permanence, so that in near future our surroundings can witness a Stronger Us.
We definitely cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. But problem is “Are we really efficient enough, to maintain every time, the balance in our new gained attitude?”
The final un-answered question is: “Does Change always come bearing gifts?”
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